Generation X · 8 min read
Between a trip to reschedule and the daily routine, two friends share their thoughts at "Il Tempo delle Donne." From this, three simple pieces of advice emerge for the middle generation.
(Elisa Maria Bottiglieri and Marianna Folli bump into each other in a hurry, shoulder bags slung over their shoulders, phones in hand.)
Elisa: “Marianna! Unbelievable that we’re finally seeing each other! We’ve been meaning to take a trip together forever. How does it look?”
Marianna: “I’d pack my bags right now! But you know how it is: my mother isn’t doing well, I’m constantly driving her to doctor appointments. And the kids need to be picked up and dropped off everywhere every afternoon.”
Elisa: “I know the feeling all too well. I’m certainly not running a marathon, but I dutifully drive my husband to his sports practice. I feel like I’ve been eating on my feet between emails for weeks. We desperately need a gin and tonic and an evening just for ourselves!”
Marianna: “Let's pin down a date! What about October?”
Elisa: (sighs) “Oh Marianna, to be honest… in October school starts up full swing, my mother has check-ups, and work is crazy. Realistically, let's just push it to next year.”
Marianna: “You’re right. Next year! Hopefully none of the kids will be screaming for us that minute, work will have to wait,an evening with a cold drink and zero guilt!”
(They hug hastily; their phones ring at the exact same time.)
Elisa: “Be sure to text me! Do you still have my new number?”
Marianna: (reaches into her bag, looks at her phone in confusion) “Oh God, Elisa… I meant to write it down earlier, but my head is so full of appointments and care plans that I completely forgot!” (Looks at her watch, shrugs helplessly) “Oh well, no time,I have to run to my next appointment right now or I’ll be late! We’ll find each other somehow!” (hurries away)
This lively and humorous opening sketch by the theatrical duo Le Mostre inaugurated the discussion at the Il Tempo delle Donne event. The performance captured the exact reality of countless Generation X women,the cohort in their fifties currently standing at an unprecedented sociological crossroads. They are the first generation to experience late maternity on a large scale; in Italy, the average age at first birth is now 32, placing the country among European leaders for first-time mothers over forty. As a result, these women reach their fifties with teenage children at home, while simultaneously caring for aging parents with health vulnerabilities. And right in the middle of this intense dual caregiving burden comes the onset of menopause.
This complex dynamic is analyzed by psychotherapist Laura Turuani from the Istituto Minotauro in Milan in her book Le Schiacciate (Solferino). The title,translating to "The Squashed" or "The Crushed Ones",aptly describes the condition of these women, whom Turuani knows intimately through her clinical work with mothers of adolescents as well as her personal life. In her writing, she explores the three core physiological turning points in a woman's life: Menarche, Maternity, and Menopause. Turuani characterizes Generation X women as multitasking, perfectionist, and highly control-oriented. Raised as the last "obedient daughters" with traditional values of duty, they became the first "good mothers" who invented the affective family model. Now they face physical changes like sleep disruption, chronic fatigue, and hot flashes right in the middle of demanding daily schedules,symptoms that remain socially taboo or shrouded in shame.
Offering a refreshingly witty counterpoint to this pressure is Acqua, sapone e gin tonic (De Agostini) by Elisa Maria Bottiglieri and Marianna Folli, born out of their successful Instagram and stage project Le Mostre. Subtitled Tales of Monstrous Women Living Inside All of Us, the authors sketch a satirical bestiary of tragicomic female archetypes. They highlight the contradictory, "monstrous" facets that surface when women attempt to satisfy all societal expectations at once. Through sharp satire, they hold up a mirror, inviting readers to laugh at their own perfectionist quirks over a drink rather than letting themselves be crushed by guilt.
Actress Francesca Chillemi brought the perspective of a younger generation into the discussion. Although she has not yet reached her fifties, Chillemi noted how little younger women actually know about the specific challenges facing Generation X. As a mother who personally experiences the daily struggle of balancing career and family and often feels overwhelmed by competing demands, she found the conversation eye-opening. Her perspective highlights how the experiences of the "generation in the middle" serve as a vital guide for younger generations, encouraging them to recognize their limits early and question societal expectations.
From expert analyses, workplace insights, and panel discussions, several core strategies emerge to help this middle generation rediscover balance and autonomy.
The first critical step is knowledge and breaking taboos (Conoscere). Menopause is neither a disease nor a biological decline, but a natural physiological transition,often termed the "Change of Life." Understanding the hormonal shifts taking place and the impact of declining estrogen on the nervous system, sleep, mood, and cardiovascular and bone health removes the sense of threat. Body awareness frees women from the anxiety of losing control; timely medical advice, balanced lifestyle choices, and targeted therapeutic or natural supports can effectively alleviate physical symptoms and restore energy.
Furthermore, this stage of life requires conscious slowing down and relinquishing perfectionism (Rallentare). Expecting to flawlessly manage a career, eldercare, raising teens, and household duties inevitably leads to burnout. On the corporate front, Francesca Grandi (Chief Human Resources Officer at Alpitour World) emphasized that employers must reduce pressure and offer flexibility so that family caregiving,such as taking elderly parents to hospital visits,can occur without professional drawbacks. On a personal level, slowing down means accepting imperfection, delegating responsibilities, and modeling for children that slowing down is not failure, but maturity.
A vital shield against isolation is active sisterhood (Sorellanza). Laura Turuani highlights the power of a supportive female network that listens without judgment. Honest exchanges between friends,whether regarding teenage turbulence, menopausal symptoms, or practical matters like sharing the contact details of a reliable caregiver,provide immediate relief. Laughing together, admitting vulnerabilities, and releasing mutual guilt transforms feelings of entrapment into a supportive community.
Finally, women must reclaim personal space and small daily rituals. After decades of prioritizing the needs of children, partners, and work, the second half of life opens up an opportunity to redefine personal identity. Liberation from the reproductive mandate can convert into new creative, social, and personal energy. Unattainable overhaul projects are unnecessary: just five minutes of morning quiet, a hot cup of tea, a mindful breath, or a phone call with a friend serve as effective anchors. Creating space for oneself is not selfish, but a vital necessity for navigating life with strength and grace.
Laura Turuani: Le Schiacciate (Solferino) and interview Cinquantenni, oggi: chi sono le ex ragazze della Generazione X (Istituto Minotauro / Repubblica).
Elisa Maria Bottiglieri & Marianna Folli (Le Mostre): Acqua, sapone e gin tonic (De Agostini).
Alessandra Graziottin: Figli adolescenti e madri in menopausa: binomio da paura.
Gynecological Educational Materials: Il Climaterio (Dr. Walter Insegno) & Vivere serenamente la menopausa (Villa Salus Hospital).
